Do you ever wish you could clone yourself? I bet all busy moms, and busy humans in general, have had that thought at one point or another. My husband and I sometimes watch the adult animated series “Rick and Morty.” I imagine some of my fine readers might find that show a little too lowbrow for their tastes, and I often do myself. But the point for this particular column is the clone part. The mom, Beth, is offered a clone to help with her busy life, and it often gets me thinking about how I could use a few clones myself.
What would you do if you had a clone of yourself, or a couple of clones? Here are a few thoughts on what I would do with mine.
Really dig into my job. I hope you all like what I do here at the paper, but if I had another me who could basically live at the Journal, oh, how wonderful it would be! I would write those hard-hitting stories I’ve always lain in bed thinking about. I would travel far and wide to get you the best advertising you’ve ever seen. Mostly, I would make my unfortunate clone go to all my meetings for me. Like I said last week, I find those meetings very enlightening, but they do get kind of long and draining, especially when I have multiple ones in a week. You can be assured my clone would do a wonderful job writing this column, so don’t lose any sleep over that.
Delegate all my volunteer activities. Somehow, over the last several months, I’ve found myself with a lot more of this type of thing on my plate. The Britton Area Chamber of Commerce has taken more time than I realized it would, but I most definitely want to see that organization thrive and stay vibrant. Still, if my clone could handle all that behind the scenes work, I would happily hand it over. Then there are the religious education classes my husband and I volunteered to teach at our local church. I wanted to be part of the solution and thought, if you’re looking around and no one else is willing to do it, why not look in the mirror? I felt like I was being called, but then again, my clone could be called to do the same important work in that realm! And then there’s my trivia side gig. It might be hard to give this one up because I actually enjoy trivia. How about I just make my clone plan the games, put everything together and set up the whole operation? Then I can show up, enjoy the fun and have a couple of adult beverages. That sounds about right!
Have the cleanest house in town. I don’t mind cleaning my house and, in fact, find it therapeutic at times. But if I could have somebody around to do those really undesirable tasks, like cleaning my baseboards, scrubbing the fronts of my cupboards and rearranging my kids’ books on the shelf, I would be pleased as punch. There’s just not enough time in the day to do all that on top of everything else.
If I had a clone, I would also have her do all my exercising and nutritional management. Then again, if the clone did all the work, I’m not sure I would reap any of the benefits. I suppose I’d have to think that one through.
Be a more attentive mother. This is the one that really gets to me sometimes. I know I spend too much time messing around on my phone when I’m in the presence of my kids, trying to squeeze in a few extra work emails or plan my next trivia game. The mom guilt is real. If I had a clone to do all my other stuff, I could spend that time being the most patient, wonderful, fun mom ever. My kids would probably wonder what happened to their mother, but at least I’d be fully present for the mystery.
Alas, there is only one of me, and though I’m sure human cloning will one day be a reality, I doubt I’ll be able to afford it. So what am I to do? Probably figure out how to balance my life a little better, make time for what’s important and occasionally say no to what’s not. Probably good advice for all of us, clone or no clone.
