This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated Valentine’s Day by going to the Country Club for supper. We’re not really “Valentine’s Day” kind of people, but it seems like the last couple of years this holiday is when we finally get a break. It was amazing, not just the food, but the time we got to spend together away from the kids.
The steaks were great, and I was especially excited about the lobster tail, mostly because my family is allergic to seafood, so we couldn’t have it in the house while I was growing up. The cheesecake and chocolate-covered strawberries really hit the spot. Needless to say, I was full by the end of the night.
As much as we love our girls, we need time to ourselves for our relationship to stay strong and healthy. My sister came down from Grand Forks for the weekend, so I talked her into watching the girls while we took our time in Britton. It wasn’t a problem at all because my girls love spending time with their auntie “Sa” Marisa. We FaceTime every Sunday so she can talk with the girls, and they weren’t mad or upset at all when we left.
On the way there, Chase and I realized we couldn’t remember the last time we had a date night. We knew it was before the holidays and remembered that Halloween was spent with family, but we couldn’t remember the last time we had spent time alone together. That was a problem for me. As much as we love our girls, we need to be intentional about taking time for ourselves
One year on my parents’ anniversary, our whole family went out to eat at a nice restaurant in Fargo. During their speech, my mom turned to Chase and me and said, “The reason our relationship has worked so well is because your dad and I always made sure to take time for ourselves. When you two decide to have kids, if you want them, be sure to do the little things together, both with and without the kids.”
I realized she was right. Looking back on my childhood, my parents were really good at doing things as a family and also spending time separate from us. To us, it felt like fun sleepovers with cousins and weekends at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm, but for them, it was time to refocus on their marriage.
That’s why, when I couldn’t remember the last time we had a date night, it bothered me so much. For any relationship with kids, it’s so easy to cancel plans and say, “Eh, we’ll do it some other time.” But then “some other time” keeps getting pushed back, and before you know it, you can’t even remember when the last time was.
After dinner, Chase and I decided we didn’t want to head home after only a couple of hours away. So we stopped at Snappers for a drink and started planning our next weekend trip to Wisconsin. It doesn’t have to be long or expensive, just enough time away to have fun together and experience new places and things.
It’s closer to my sisters-in-law, which makes it easy for the girls, and it’s a short enough drive that it won’t take up the entire weekend.
Just thinking about this trip gave me my spark back. We picked a weekend and booked the hotel right away so we wouldn’t have time to change our minds.
Marriage doesn’t stay strong by accident, it stays strong through intention. This weekend reminded me that taking time away isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Our girls deserve parents who love them deeply, but they also deserve parents who love each other well. Whether it’s a simple dinner at the Country Club, a quick stop for a drink, or a weekend trip to Wisconsin, those moments together matter. They help us reconnect, laugh, dream, and remember why we chose each other in the first place. And that’s something worth making time for, again and again.
